


The Ones we Love

by thalaivi



Category: CSI: Miami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25285300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thalaivi/pseuds/thalaivi
Summary: “Tim and I… It took Speed dying to see how much he meant to me Wolfe. So, when you came in… I never hated you personally, but I couldn’t… couldn’t let you in either… Not back then”
Kudos: 2





	The Ones we Love

**Author's Note:**

> Only story I've written where Speed dies. Eric/ Ryan and Eric/ Speed slash if you squint really hard. Wrote this just as a friendship fit.
> 
> Spoilers for S10 episode Friendly Fire

“Ryan”, the voice of newly promoted Detective Samantha Owens called out to her co-worker just as he was about to exit the lab

“Sam, hi”. Ryan Wolfe senior investigator of the Miami Dade Crime Lab looked at her surprised wondering why she was still here, especially as he had seen Eric Delko hand her the bracelet not even a few minutes ago. He had assumed that Eric the lab’s eternal player would’ve asked her out on a date by now. Of course, the older CSI could’ve also sent her out to double his misery he thought, as he saw Sam show him the new bracelet and ask him how it looked

“Looks… um… looks really nice… lovely… actually”, he stuttered then cursed himself. ‘No wonder Eric thought you had no chance with her Wolfe. You can barely hold a conversation with a beautiful woman without making a fool of yourself’

“Thanks”, Sam replied almost as nervous as him tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ears

“Um… Eric…um…”, she began not knowing how to continue and Wolfe wondered annoyed if Eric hadn’t just stopped with asking her out but had also told her about his crush. Of course, the senior investigator would’ve just thought the whole thing was a big joke. Despite being older than him by about half a decade the CSI still had a strong playful streak in him that Ryan most of the time envied but at times like these found incredibly annoying

“What about Eric?”, he asked her resigned to hear about how great he was or where he was taking her out

Her next words though shamed him. “He told me this was from you and… and that you had only given it to him because… um… because you thought he wanted to… make up for this morning”, Sam informed him hesitantly

For once it wasn’t his natural shyness around beautiful women that made Wolfe speechless. Eric’s generosity, he had to admit surprised him. Particularly because they had never had an easy relationship over the years, with the older man initially almost resenting him for taking the place of his deceased best friend, Timothy ‘Speed’ Speedle on the team. Of course, their relationship had progressed well enough over the years for Ryan to consider the other man a good friend and someone he could trust, especially after Eric had worked really hard a couple of years ago to clear his name

Lost in thoughts it took Sam calling him again to come back to where he was, and he blushed deeply as he realized that he had been ignoring a gorgeous woman who was standing in front of him and actually giving him attention

“Sorry Sam I… that… um… that looks really nice on you… um… You… you like it right?”, he asked her well aware that he was close to babbling

Sam again tucked a strand of hair behind her hair before answering that she loved it. “Right… um…,” Wolfe fumbled again. ‘Ask her out on a date you idiot. I just gave you the perfect set-up’, the Eric voice inside his head screamed before Ryan told it to shut up and that he would do so when he wanted to ask her out and not because of anyone else and… Who the hell was he kidding here he thought. No matter the help he still couldn’t do it. Eric, when he heard this would tease him mercilessly

“Um… I should… yeah… My shift… just… I actually got to… um… Ballistics…”

“Say what?” Sam looked slightly cross and impatient now and Wolfe gave her a sheepish look.

“I have something to um… check with Calleigh… um about ballistics… for one of my… um old cases”, he managed to tell her and not giving her a chance to answer he bolted.

‘What the hell was that about’, Samantha thought before she went back to her own lab

“Hi this is Eric, leave me a message”

“Great, you had to make this hard on me didn’t you”, Wolfe muttered as Eric’s phone went to voicemail

“Problems?” Calleigh Duquesne’s quiet voice from asked from behind him and as Wolfe jumped startled, she laughed

“Yeah, yeah, this is funny. I know”, Wolfe said wryly at her amusement

“I’m sorry”, she apologized in her usual charming way that always made his heart melt. Despite the fact that she was a hell of a lot older than him, he just like everyone else, including he was sure his Lt. had a small crush on her

“Problems?”

“Just been trying to reach Delko. His phone seems to be turned off”

Calleigh’s smile dropped. A quiet “Oh”, was all she said and Ryan couldn’t help it as his curiosity peaked at her reaction

“Do you um… do you know where he is?”, he questioned knowing he was being nosy and indeed the look Calleigh shot him told him that

“The cemetery”, she said quietly just as he had been about to tell her to not bother and that he would see Eric at the lab the next day anyway. He had to admit the answer surprised him. As far as he knew, today wasn’t the day his sister Marisol had been born or had died, nor did the day hold any special significance to Delko that he could think of, and though he thought that it was none of his business, he was curious as to why Eric had gone there

Calleigh it seemed had become a pretty good mind reader. “Samantha and the shootout”, she said then continued when she realized Wolfe did not understand. “He goes to visit Speedle on days like these. To talk”

“Oh”, was what Ryan was able to manage. He had of course heard too many times about how close Eric and Speed actually were. Though it was Horatio who Eric considered to be his mentor, Speed, Ryan had been told by Eric himself, had been just as close to him and helped him out just as much, especially when he would become so frustrated with a piece of evidence that the famous Delko temper would get the better of him to the point where he could rarely see straight. Of course, Speed had also according to Eric, teased him mercilessly to the point where he had hazed him with a headless corpse, incidentally the same joke Calleigh and Delko had played on him

“He was the first one… the first person Eric lost on the job”. Unaware of the fact that his thoughts had drifted Calleigh continued telling him about her wayward colleague before stopping. 

‘Why Tim’, she thought just as she did every time something reminded her of the former trace expert. ‘Why the hell didn’t you clean your gun. Why the hell didn’t I make sure. I’m the lab’s ballistics expert. I should’ve…’

“Calleigh, are you Ok?” Ryan’s question stopped her from berating herself as she looked up into the concerned eyes of her colleague

“Yes Ryan”, she told him pulling a smile from those reserves of strength she had become almost legendary for over the years. “I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me though, I have some guns to play with”, she told him with what he was sure would’ve looked like fake cheer on everyone else, but looked genuine on her. “Oh, and Ryan”, she said just as she reached the entrance to her lab. “If you are going to talk to Eric, I suggest you be very careful with what you say”, she advised him and ignoring his protests she walked away leaving him wondering if he really did want to go see Eric right now as she had thought he would

Calleigh, Ryan decided knew him better than he did as he walked quietly into the cemetery and towards the grave of one Timothy Speedle, the lab’s deceased trace expert, and best friend to Eric Delko and he was sure Calleigh herself. He had to admit to himself, the fact that he was jealous of a dead guy was pathetic, but Ryan had never been able to help himself from comparing himself to his predecessor. After all, he thought, everyone else he was sure even after all these years still did it, so why shouldn’t he

It was Eric’s quiet voice that stopped both his thoughts and his legs but as he heard the older man mention his name his curiosity peaked again and he found himself moving forward once more. He found Eric sitting cross-legged in front of Speed’s grave tracing the name on the headstone and turned away, almost walking off as he realized what an incredibly private moment this was. The next moment though and he had found himself a big enough tree to hide behind as he quietly eavesdropped on the conversation not able to explain to even himself as to why he was doing so

“Can you believe that?”, Eric was chuckling. “He actually thought I’d ask Sam out. I mean yeah, I wouldn’t have hesitated a few years ago, but now. I got to admit Tim I feel really old these days. I mean that girl is almost a decade younger than me, man. I mean even Wolfe’s almost half a decade younger than me. I wonder if this is how you felt when I came in as a wet behind the years rookie. Not that I was this young or this annoying. I mean he still annoys me you know, Wolfe”, he continued rambling softly unloading as was his wont to do on his best friend and unaware that he had an audience

“Twenty bucks says he didn’t ask her out though and you can’t tell me you won’t take the bet because you’ve taken some sucker ones before. I mean, remember the surfer dude who we…”, Eric stopped abruptly, and Ryan realized with a wince that the older man knew someone was there. Just as it turned about to be a false alarm and he was about to breathe again Eric did something even worse than look at him. He choked back a sob. 

Ryan froze. The thought ran through his mind that if the Cuban ever knew he had seen this he wouldn’t even be allowed the courtesy of an explanation. He was sure he would be frozen out of the other man’s life forever

Eric quietly continued. “I guess I was partly right that day. I mean surfer dude did jump bail, ok technically there was no warrant out on his arrest, but he did commit a crime, ok not a violent crime like I thought, but you still owed me at least twenty bucks man. I mean I was half right that day”

He trailed off before continuing again and Ryan really wished he had run away when he had the chance or that he hadn’t come at all at Delko’s next words. “I miss you Tim. I mean I know I tell you this every time I come here, but I only miss you more and more everyday. I wish… I even wish the bullet fragment still made me see you. At least I could have you in my life that way”, he trailed off again and as Ryan peeked out he saw Eric swipe at his eyes furiously

“Well I… I’d better get going. Mami and Papi will be wondering where I am. I promised them I’d come over for dinner”, he said as he got up and turned around to leave. Ryan was about to hide again before he was spotted when Eric turned back to the grave, amusement plain in his tone. “Yes, Speed my mom still feeds me and yes I still can’t cook as well as you. And yes, I still have that Chemistry Degree framed”, was his parting shot as he left

Ryan still waited, hiding behind the tree in the now empty cemetery for a good fifteen minutes just to make sure Eric wasn’t coming back, before moving towards Speed’s headstone. “Hey man”, he said softly just for a moment feeling ridiculous for not just talking to a grave, but the grave of a man he hardly knew, yet almost resented, almost idolized. He wondered what Speed’s reaction would’ve been to that. “I… Honestly I have no idea what I’m doing here”, he admitted before continuing. “I mean, I really didn’t mean to… Yeah ok I did mean to follow him but…”. He shook his head again realizing that he was justifying his actions to someone who could neither berate him nor accept him. “Anyways, I… Eric he… he can be an ass you know, but he is also, he’s also one of my best friend’s man, and I… just wanted to let you know, you know not to worry about him and… I’ll take care of him I promise”, he finished lamely

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it”, Eric’s voice said from behind him in a flat tone and Ryan jumped. 

“What are you… how did you…”, Ryan stammered as he turned around to look into the furious eyes of his colleague

“You left the Hummer parked not too far from my car”, Eric told him voice still flat and Ryan cursed himself for having been stupid enough to commit such a rookie mistake, especially when following a cop with more than a decade of experience and an incredible eye for detail

“I…”, he stammered again. “I… Samantha… She just… She told me… I just… wanted to you know say thank you and…”

“How did you know where I was? What were you following me?” Eric interrupted his blabbering, his tone showing just annoyed he was, making Wolfe jump again

“What no, course not, I mean, I just told you. Sam caught me at the lab after you left and told me about the bracelet. I was only gonna call you and thank you, but your phone went to voicemail….”, Ryan explained much more clearly this time before he was interrupted

“So, what you had AV trace me then? Or did you trace me…”, he was the one interrupted now

“Calleigh told me”

That brought Eric up short and he fell silent for a moment. “Still doesn’t explain why you followed me here”, he said at last tone a lot less hostile than it had been. “When did you get here?”

Ryan couldn’t help it. He winced at the question. “Almost, almost a half hour ago”, he admitted and wasn’t too surprised when the older man looked furious again.

“So you heard… all of it”, he clarified tone disbelieving. 

In for a penny, in for a pound, Wolfe thought and confessed everything. “I came in when you were explaining how Sam was really young and that you could never ask her out on a date. I hid behind a tree over there”, he pointed over his shoulder, “Then waited till you left before I came out to… to talk to Speed myself”

This time it was almost a minute before Eric spoke. “Why?”, he asked him tone strangled. “Why would you…?” He closed his eyes not wanting Ryan of all people to see just how upset he was. “This was a private moment Wolfe”, he snapped at last his anger returning full force

“I know”, Wolfe admitted knowing he had crossed a line and that nothing he could say could justify his actions but wanting to try anyway. “I know I shouldn’t have followed you here, but I was… I was curious. Not about your actions. Or not just about your actions”, he rephrased at Eric’s look of disbelief. “I was curious about the relationship you shared with him. I mean, you, Calleigh, Alexx, even Horatio at times… all of you almost revere this guy and I was just… I wanted to know the man behind it all”

“So, why not ask us?’ Eric challenged

It was Ryan’s turn to look at him in disbelief. “Would you have told me?” he asked the older CSI throwing the gauntlet right back. “You couldn’t even… my first year at the lab you snapped at me when all I did was follow protocol on an investigation”, Ryan reminded him quietly and Eric had the decency to wince, as he realized the former patrol cop was right. “I just… I just never thought… I couldn’t… not after that”, he admitted

“Look Eric”, he continued after a long minute of silence. “I know you won’t believe me, but I am really sorry man. I never meant to… I should’ve left when the conversation… I just… I never meant to hurt you”, he finished quietly not looking the other man in the eye now

Eric hesitated as he almost studied Wolfe. Even though he knew the younger CSI had a better poker face than him most days, right now Wolfe wasn’t even trying to hide his emotions. The Cuban could clearly see that Ryan really did feel remorse for his actions. He was also right, Eric thought. After all, after Speed’s death, he simply remembered almost shutting down his emotions, not wanting to even think about the older man, who had in such a short time become a huge part of his life to the point where walking into the lab each day without him had hurt. Badly. It had taken him seeing vivid hallucinations of the dead man to even bring him back here and begin to once more think about his now deceased friend. So there really was no way he could’ve ever told Ryan anything about Speed himself

“You’re right”, he admitted at last softly as he looked past Ryan to the headstone. “Tim and I… It took Speed dying to see how much he meant to me Wolfe. So, when you came in… I never hated you personally, but I couldn’t… couldn’t let you in either… Not back then”

“And now?”, Ryan asked, and Eric realized he was the one feeling vulnerable now

“Now… now we work together Wolfe”, he evaded not wanting to give what the younger man was looking for. He eventually relented though. “Look Ryan, Speed and I… He’ll always be my best friend. Him dying hasn’t changed that… But you’re a friend and a colleague too Wolfe… and I… I suppose… You mean a lot to me as well man”, he finished not so good with expressing his emotions

Ryan nodded as he turned away as he realized partly amused, partly embarrassed that he was close to crying. Not that Eric was faring any better he thought as he sneaked a peek at the other man. Eric’s next words though made him freeze again as the night’s surprises were still not over

“You like Cuban food Wolfe?”

Was the older man asking what he thought he was asking, Ryan wondered almost stunned

“Calleigh, H or even Alexx sometimes join me when I go home. So, my mom always makes sure to make extra when I come home for dinner”, Eric rambled as Ryan just stared at him slightly open mouthed. “Of course, Speed was there most nights with me, even if he did tease me on what a momma’s boy I was

“You don’t have to come Wolfe”, he snapped impatient again when all Ryan did was continue to stare. “I just thought…”

“Will I get my ass kicked if I call you a momma’s boy too”, Ryan quietly interrupted and Eric grinned that famous Delko grin that made most woman go week at the knees 

“Most definitely Wolfe. Most definitely”, he promised even as he threw an arm around the younger CSI’s shoulders and almost dragged him out of the cemetery


End file.
